


no superman in that phone booth

by constanted



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Plane of Thought, Post-Canon, The Do-Good Fellowship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 13:51:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12459117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constanted/pseuds/constanted
Summary: Time goes on.He’s at work, drifting off. Odir’s sick again, so he’s gotta take over his shift again, and it’s boring as hell. Like, he’s got Ren coming in and out of frame in his pan talking to him, but still.And that’s when the man walks up, in full cosplay for some superhero Joaquin’ never heard of.(Or: After the end of the world, Joaquin Terrero meets some kindred spirits.)





	no superman in that phone booth

**Author's Note:**

> this is dumb and incoherent, but i wanted to try writing a fic that didn't even mention magnus OR lucretia OR julia, like, what the hell. so. bam.

After the end of the world, life goes back to pretty-much-almost normal. Joaquin still has six months of high school, he’s got college apps, he’s got orthodontist appointments, he’s got work, and—here’s the kicker—he’s got magic powers.

Of course he tells people about them. How _can’t_ he tell people about them? Okay, like—his family doesn’t know. Because Catholicism. (They weren’t huge on the Story, but, hey, no movie’s gonna get ten of ten from _every_ reviewer, right?) But his family doesn’t know plenty about him. So it’s cool. It’s cool, it’s fine, it’s just—he’s got _magic fucking powers,_ and he maybe travelled to another universe for a quick second? He’s not sure if that was a dream or not. He hopes it wasn’t, because he’s pretty sure he did something cool.

Malik doesn’t believe him at first, calls it some bullshit. Joaquin had decided to raise the topic, like, hey, I got magic powers during the apocalypse, mid-movie date, because it didn’t seem like Malik would yell “that’s some bullshit,” mid-movie. But, as is usual, Malik surprises Joaquin in every goddamn way. But, like, you can’t just—you can’t just start a fire or a fake-fire in a movie theater, that’s super illegal, and everything else would be dumb or shitty. And Taako’s been talking to him through the frying pan when he can, helping him hone this, but he’s still not _super_ good at it. So he proves it after the movie. Prestidigitation. Joaquin printed off some and spell cards so he can remember the names of things, because, uh, hey wizards? If you need a fancy name for your spells, maybe add some alliteration or something?

Malik believes him after that. And Lucero and Eli believe him too, so he’s got, like, his whole circle in on it. And then Eli’s stepdad finds out cuz Joaquin’s practicing minor illusion while Eli plays Last Guardian, and his stepdad, who’s back form that weirdass overseas job, walks in on the room to say that dinner’s here.

And Mr. Bernstein-Call-Me-Joe-No-I-Promise-It’s-Not-Disrespectful-At-All asks him to talk after dinner—Chinese takeout, cuz Mrs. Carr-Bernstein can’t cook to save her own life and neither can her husband.

“What was that, uh—“  
  
“Cube in my hands?” and Mr. Bernstein’s a hippie, so Joaquin states it bluntly, “It’s magic. Like in the Story.”  
  
“Ah, hell, kid. You’re kidding?”  
  
“Nah.”  
  
He casts Prestidigitation.

“Look, you know about my—my job.”  
  
“Not really? You do science, right?”

“Yeah, uh—trying to. Make the world a better place. Do you have, ah, uh—I think they called it an arcane source, in the Story?”  
  
“I got a wooden spoon that I’ve used.”  
  
“Al _right_.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool.”  
  
“If I could—if you could bring that, and—maybe let me ask you some questions? We’ve been not he verge of a breakthrough, and, uh—I think this could be that last step we need.”  
  
The interview goes okay, and he gets a shitton of cash out of it—basically, he can go out of state for college. Without loans. Which, excellent. He knew there was gonna be a benefit to having one rich friend.

And time goes on.

He’s at work, drifting off. Odir’s sick _again_ , so he’s gotta take over his shift _again_ , and it’s boring as hell. Like, he’s got Ren coming in and out of frame in his pan talking to him, but _still_.

And that’s when the man walks up, in full cosplay for some superhero Joaquin’ never heard of.

“There a con going on?”  
  
“Oh, this?” says the man, clearly trying to modulate his voice, a little bit, “Nah, I don’t really do cosplay. This is my work outfit.”  
  
“Do you work on Times Square, cuz that’s a few miles north of here, bro.”  
  
“Nah, it’s—it’s complicated. Y’all busy this time of day?”  
  
“Never.”  
  
“Okay, cool, so I want, uh, fifteen carne asada tacos?”  
  
“And ruin your cosplay?”  
  
“Not a cosplay!”  
  
“Sure, whatever.”

And Joaquin starts prepping. After _way_ too long of a time for one order, he brings out a bag full of superdude’s tacos, and superdude is joined by a friend.

Or, maybe not a friend. She is _not_ in costume, and she looks like she doesn’t care for superdude. At all.

“I’ll pay if you take that terrible disguise off, Christopher,” she says, voice measured but full of pissed-off-ness.

Superdude sighs, “But _what_ if people _recognize_ me?”  
  
“No one watches viral videos from twenty fourteen anymore.”  
  
“ _You_ do! And so does Irene. She says she doesn’t, but she definitely does, cuz Kard—“  
  
“I’m so far out of the zeitgeist that ‘no one’ as a group doesn’t include me. No one could make miracle poly—“  
  
And superdude grabs a duffel bag from a short woman on the bench next to the truck, and walks to the Starbucks across the street.

Pissed girl hands him a 100.

“I can’t break this.”

“Try.”  
  
He shakes his head at her.  
  
She hands him a credit card, and she glares. God, he fucking hates this job.

“Are you Joaquin Terrero?” she asks, looking at his nametag.

“What’s it to you?”  
  
“We need to talk.”

And superdude fucking—he’s out of costume now—but he fucking leaps, no exaggeration, across the street and next to his friend, to say, “What she means is, uh. We heard you might have, like, magic powers, kind of? Cuz so do we! And our friend Irene over there. She’s afraid of teenagers, so she didn’t wanna be involved in this convo too much? It’s cool. But, anyway, when your shift’s over, hit us up, maybe?”

He’s the Olympic Ninja.

“You’re the Olympic Ninja.”

And 100-Dollar-Bill loses her shit laughing.

“Holy _shit,_ ” she says, clutching her stomach.

“I’m Remy,” says Olympic Ninja, a little bummed, “This is Nadiya. I already gave you Irene’s name. She’s nicer than Nadiya is.”

Remy jumps over the truck and into it through the open back door, landing immediately next to Joaquin.

“So, uh, you down to chat, kid?”

Joaquin closes down the truck early.

So they work for the same think tank as Mr. Bernstein, and Nadiya _hates_ Mr. Bernstein, but, anyway, they’re trying to figure out how the hell Mr. Bernstein managed to give the three of them superpowers. And Joaquin’s name came up.

“I work in IT,” says Remy, “So I can read _everybody_ ’s company emails.”  
  
Irene grits her teeth, says softly, “You know it’s upsetting to me when you talk about, uh. Breaking rules.”  
  
“Yeah, but it’s helping out our quest, right? And—“  
  
“Don’t try with her,” says Nadiya, “Joaquin, how did you get your—abilities. Any injuries, or—“  
  
“Remember when the world ended? And the Story, and—“  
  
“I saw it on the news,” says Remy, “Cuz I was on a run and I was listening to a podcast and I thought it was, like, a mini-arc, but I was _really_ invested in my podcast? So I couldn’t pay attention to the world ending.”  
  
“Yeah, saw it on the news, thought the story was a sleep-deprivation thing,” says Nadiya, “I was busy working on—“  
  
“Lifesaving technology,” says Remy, grinning and he pats her on the back. She glares, and he says, gentle, “You know it’s out of love.”  
  
“That won’t get you anywhere.”  
  
“Okay, alright,” he sighs.

Irene says, with a shrug, “I was asleep. I had the day off of work, so I decided to treat myself.”  
  
“You _slept through the apocalypse_?”

There’s some ribbing between the three of them, and then Joaquin starts to tell his story.

“So you cooked very well and then suddenly you used magic?” Nadiya steeps her hands under her chin.

“S’bonds,” says Remy, “Like in the Story? I thought those were real cool, and—“  
  
“So bonds gave Nadiya’s polymer the ability to instate our… abilities,” says Irene, “Maybe.”

“I still don’t necessarily _believe_ the story,” says Nadiya. Joaquin doesn’t bother correcting her.

“And what _are_ your abilities?” he says instead.

“Nadiya can stretch real good, I have very powerful jumps and kicks, and Irene sometimes incredible-Hulks herself into a literal goddess. Who is very powerful.”  
  
“Is Kardala afraid of teens?” asks Nadiya.

“Probably not?” Irene tilts her head, “Who knows.”

“You, if anyone.”  


“Regardless,” says Irene, “Uh, Joaquin, honey—“  
  
“He’s _eighteen_ , he’s not in kinde—“  
  
“Joaquin, who knows about your abilities?”  
  
“Uh, my boyfriend, my two best friends, my AP Bio teacher, Reyna From English, the lady who saw me light that candy wrapper on fire, Mr. Bernstein, uh—you guys, a bunch more—“  
  
And Joaquin goes on, these three strangers staring at him incredulously.

“Dude,” says Remy, “I didn’t even tell my _brother_.”  
  
“Neither did I? Cuz, uh, he’d tell my ma, and that wouldn’t go over well at all, like—I can’t have that church gossip, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” says Remy, “Actually, I should get on telling my brother, like—we could do a pretty dope ad for the gym, and—“  
  
“On topic,” says Nadiya, “We need to—“  
  
“I gotta go home, actually. I have homework.”  
  
“Can’t you just magic that away, Mr. Wizard?” asks Nadiya.

“Look, dude, APs are in, like, a month, and I can’t fuckin’ deal with prereqs in college, like—“  
  
“Language,” says Irene, sing-songy.

“I think we have enough information, anyway,” says Nadiya, “I got shit to do.”  
  
“Add me on Steam, dude, I—your t-shirt,” says Remy, and says, “It’s remyrembrandt92. N-D-T in the last name.”  
  
“Not very original, I-Need-A-Psuedonym,” says Nadiya, halfway out.

“I made it, like, three years ago, I was a totally different person—“

“Whatever.”  


“I think it’s fine,” says Irene, patting Remy’s back, “Thanks, uh, for the—the contribution, Joaquin.”  
  
“No problem?”  
  
“Bye, dude.”

And he doesn’t hear from them again, like, he plays FFXIV with Remy, one time, but that’s about it. He just goes about life, as per usual.

“There are people with magic in my world now, too,” says Joaquin into the pan, one day, after seeing a news story. 

“Well, I’m _pretty_ sure you’re the only one who got them from _me,_ and I’m, like—“  
  
“You’re from TV.”  
  
“ _Exactly,_ ” says Taako, “And that makes your powers objectively the dopest.”  
  
“You know it.”  
  
“Like, if _I_ were there, me and Lup might have you beat, but—“  
  
“I get it.”

“Yeah, you’d better get it, kid.”

**Author's Note:**

> this, of course, though, does tie into the eventual nadiya/lucretia fic i'll eventually write. because of course. i'm trying to write the new kids, and since we don't know too much about them, it wasn't great, but, hey, it'll get better with time and also content.
> 
> i'm writing original fiction now, too! if you wanna check out more Teens as written by me, check out violetbeachpod.tumblr.com--november.
> 
> love you. bye.


End file.
